Debt is lack of options...

A few years ago, I was due back at the nine to five office job from maternity leave. After nearly

eight years of being a ‘boy mum’, our baby daughter arrived. We called her Reyes (pronounced

Ray-ez) and we were absolutely besotted.

Unlike my first maternity leave with my son, in which I could feel quite lonely and isolated (none

of my friends had babies then), I had really enjoyed and valued the year off this time round. A

few of my friends had kids by then and I had the routine of the school run to get me out and

about each day.

Most days after dropping Marcus at school and pushing Reyes in the pram, I would grab a

takeaway coffee from the local café and then head straight into the park for a nice, long walk.

She was an angel of a child as babies go, (this did not continue into the toddler years of course)

and she would always have a lovely long nap whilst I sat on a bench and read my book.

We would spend the rest of the day pottering around the house and a couple of times a week

we would attend the local church playgroups, always having play dates and lunch dates

scheduled in with friends and family.

Katie Agbebi - Founder, Mother With Intention

Being off work also meant I was able to keep on top of the housework and even attend all

Marcus’ school plays and sports days that I sometimes had to miss. Being around more for Marcus

also felt like such a blessing.

In the past, I’d looked on in envy at the mums gathered outside the playground, still chatting

long after the school bell had gone. As I would rush back to my car to head into the office, I would

wonder about them and how was it that they didn’t need to work.

Anyhow, the time had come to return to work and although I dreaded it, I didn’t feel like I had an

option to stay home, even with the expensive childcare costs I was about to pay.

We were both working and had just a little left at the end of the month once all the bills were

paid.

A year or so went by and my longing to be at home was still present, but I’d pushed it to the

back of my mind. Then one day, after inspiration from a YouTube video I was watching, I started to look really closely at our money.

How much was coming in?

How much was going out?

Where could we make savings?

Quite quickly it became blindingly obvious that we had a heck of a lot of debt repayments.

Debt seemed to have crept on us slowly, a bit here, a bit there, then some bigger amounts of

borrowing.

But we were making all the repayments, so that meant we could afford them, right?

I added up the amount of monthly repayments we were making.

I was in shock - £943 per month.

This was the exact amount I earned from my part time job at the office!

It hit me hard. All along I thought I couldn’t afford to not work.

Well it turns out, if I didn’t have the debt, I would’ve had the choice.

Our debt free journey took thirty one months to finish.

During the process, I learnt more about myself and my values than I have ever done in my

entire life.

You see, I don’t think debt is necessarily bad.

In essence you are just borrowing money to take longer to pay for something. Most of us will

need to take out a mortgage to buy a home to live in and that’s just the way it is.

But where, I think, there is a disconnect is when we feel there is no other way to live than in

constant consumer debt.

So many of us are earning money and then using that to pay for past decisions instead of for

our future.

That sofa we bought two years ago, the car we got on finance six months ago, it just goes on

and on.

Debt can restrict our options and prevent us from living the life we really want and deserve.

Say if we want to give up work to care for our children, or reduce our hours for more life

balance, or take a trip around the world, or even a long holiday, or maybe even start a business!

Debt and debt repayments can be the thing that holds us back. But I don’t think it should be.

Wanting less, owning less, finding beauty and contentment in ‘the every day’ has, for me, been

the antidote to a consumer driven, debt crammed lifestyle.

I sincerely hope you can create your own intentions to design life on your terms.

K x